Carnival of Cattle: The Parade of the Disconnected! Bolsonaro and his troop get lost on the edge of the Flat Earth

A spree of political misadventures, packed with comic moments and devoid of awareness.

Check out the buzz that went down on Paulista Avenue yesterday! Bolsonaro's longtime buddy, Jacaré, was in total uproar because they wouldn't let him climb onto the top-notch sound truck, the "Demolisher." You know how it goes, without that green "VIP" bracelet, the guy had to settle for the secondary truck, which is like the back row of the class.

Imagine Jacaré's disappointment, tucked away in the corner of the humblest sound truck, while the powerful folks were up front, giving speeches and taking selfies with Bolsonaro. He hung around there for a while, but after about half an hour, he waved goodbye and took off.

And look at how far we've come: Jacaré, who's been friends with Bolsonaro for centuries, bailed before Michelle Bolsonaro's speech! And he even said, "They need me, not the other way around." Imagine the scene, folks!

In addition to Jacaré, Bolsonaro's faithful friend, got a flat-out "no" and ended up in the "rejected truck," while up front, those who think they're VIPs were acting like big shots.

But the buzz didn't stop there, you know! Senator Marcos do Val, that expert in phallic proportions, tried to be clever and cut the line, but he got a snub too. And the funniest part? While he was there, kicking up a fuss and making a scene, his allies were up on the sound truck recording everything! Can you imagine the gems that'll come out of that video?

Everyone's cracking up at this circus on social media, saying it's the best Carnival of Cattle meme ever! And you can't disagree, right? These coup plotters are a riot!

The comedy show couldn't stop, so Bolsonaro, that PL character, climbed onto the float to defend himself, but ended up admitting he tried to be slick, even drafted an illegal decree! Can you believe it?

He says it wasn't a coup, but come on, seriously? Everyone knew things were heating up behind the scenes. And the funniest part is he even asked for amnesty for the crazies who tried to pull a little coup in Brasília. Ah, go figure, right? We're just sitting back, watching this Mexican soap opera unfold!

And Pastor Malafaia, huh? He's itching for a luxury vacation in prison, it must be! After all, he's in the crosshairs too, since he was all caught up in this circus. Maybe he couldn't find peace out here.

There are so many gems to be seen in this hostile environment, even for the average intellect, you know? There was even a group of old ladies, you know, those middle-aged women, like in their sixties, parading with Israeli flags and spouting nonsense about defending Israel because it's a Christian country. Good Lord in heaven, it's jaw-dropping!

Someone needs to explain to these old ladies that Israel isn't exactly what they think, right? But it seems like logic passed them by... It's unbelievable what we see in these gatherings that can make anyone lose faith in humanity.

And can you believe it? There were people recording videos threatening the Supreme Court minister! And look, it wasn't just anyone, it was the head honcho himself, Alexandre de Moraes, the terror of the Bolsonaro supporters!

It seems like people still haven't learned that threatening an STF minister isn't exactly the best idea, right? But what can you do when there are people who like to take risks... But now the game can get really expensive, literally, because things are about to get real!

And there's more, you know! There were masses of people at Bolsonaro's rally, swearing they were making a difference. They just forgot that they're becoming a joke on the internet until now!

And since intelligence isn't exactly a strong suit in Bolsonarism, here's another gem for our archive. There was a street artist belting out Geraldo Vandré's song "Caminhando e Cantando," you know, that anthem against the military dictatorship, the same one the Bolsonaro supporters spent more than 60 days outside barracks begging to return. Well, believe it or not, the Bolsonaro supporters were there, all excited, singing an anthem that's basically against everything they stand for. You know what else to say? Neither do I. It's jaw-dropping!

Hahaha! You can't believe the blunders of these folks! Jair Bolsonaro, the master of dirty tricks, has already aced the penal code for all the crimes he's committed. He betrayed his closest allies, let the cattle perish in prison, turned some into terrorists... Imagine that, some even tried to blow up an aviation fuel tanker at Brasília airport on Christmas Eve 2022. It's jaw-dropping!

And the weirdest thing is, even so, he still has a bunch of cattle supporting him. You know that saying, "everyone gets the king they deserve"? Well, it seems like the king of betrayals still has a loyal troop by his side. And wouldn't you know it, I saw a video this morning that's a real gem! Remember the street artist who rocked out to Geraldo Vandré's music? So, imagine this scene: he decided to give one of the microphones to a Bolsonaro supporter, and the person belted out a tune... Guess what song it was? "Evidências," by Chitãozinho and Xororó! A song about betrayals and lies. Is it or isn't it hilarious? These folks never cease to amaze us with their lack of awareness!

In summary: there were speeches, denials, calls for peace... Just not a lot of awareness, really. And the general public, of course, just watching and laughing at this whole comedy show!